Markus, Nevada’s first ever legal “prosti-dude“, has packed up his peen and quit the ho business after only 2 months on the stroll. Markus started leasing his dick to lady customers at the Shady Lady Ranch back in January, but only 10 women got to leave a wad of cash on his nightstand. And 9 of those “women” were really male politicians trying to put one past Markus by dressing up in drag. I made that up (but it’s probably true).

The owner of Shady Lane says that Markus leaving was a mutual decision. She says he has gone back to Los Angeles to do porn. That means you can catch him chewing man ass on Corbin Fisher very soon.

Shady Lane hasn’t taken dick off the menu altogether, though. They have hired a dude hooker who goes by the name of Y. Yes, Y. The Y must stand for “Y The Fuck Would Ladies Pay For Dick When They Can Get It From Gerard Butler For Free?!“

Source: LVRJ

Uma Thurman’s movie Motherhood made around $130 in its opening weekend in the UK. On Sunday, only one poor bitch handed of their hard-earned cash for one ticket for the movie. To put this in perspective, more people would show up for Vanilla Gorilla’s “World’s Great Husband” parade in Sandra Bullock’s hometown.

HuffPo says that the movie made around $80,000 in the US before going straight to the bottom of the clearance bin at discount stores. And what’s even more shocking is that JLo was not involved in the making of this shit show!

When one of Motherhood’s producers was told about the movie’s major fail in the UK, she said, “You’re kidding? Are we sure JLo didn’t have a small cameo in this?” No, she really said, “You’re kidding? We must have broken a new record for grosses.”

On a positive note, Uma can pat herself on the taint, because I’m sure her bomb of a movie helped a handful of people get laid. If you can’t afford a motel, and the back alleys are all busy, simply take your fuck partner to see a flop at a movie theater. Show me an empty movie theater, and I’ll show you a couple doing ass sex in it.

Here’s the movie’s trailer. Yeah, it looks awful.