Since the Department of Public Health ordered Brit Brit to cover up the crater of mangy weave hair on her head until a team of Hazmat professionals can properly tame it, she wore a hat while shopping for craft shit with her boyfriend Sam Merlotte Jason Trawick yesterday afternoon. And by ” she wore a hat” I mean that Daddy Spears superglued that shit to her head.

This is what Tim Peeler was talking about when he said Knobby the Sasquatch had ” bayootiful yallaw-ish hayer-ah.” Where is a pair of runaway clippers with a strong stomach when you really need one?! There aren’t many words for this, because that creature on Brit Brit’s head is eating them all up. That shit looks like Chewbacca’s asshole after shitting out pieces of the Yeti he just ate.